TRYOUTS

VARSITY BABYYY :D
im so happy for ALL of us. all 2011, all returners (minus newbie) !!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY
to be honest, i wasnt as nervous as i thought i would be when we were in the room getting ready. i was more nervous throughout the day, almost about to cry during 5th period! :O
but when we were waiting to get in, BEING FIRST...i was really surprsingly chill! and trying to calm down jess. its hard because you can always be so sure of yourself, but you need to trust your partner not to mess up, and im glad i trusted jess because she didnt let me down(:

I LOVED BEING FIRST. we got it over with an it was so chill afterwards! :D

there was alotta people, adn the crowd was really supportive! i freakn love the apush kids who supported me because they pumped me up! the judges didnt look so nice this year, they werent smiling at all! but overall, i felt it was really goood. and they scared the beeejjeeegas outta us about the whole callback thing. i was down to get called back! but thankGod no one did!
after we all watched jv tryouts and we waited for not a long time for the results. they made us run all over campus! haha
i was jubilant when bridgette shouted out "1,2,3,4" when she was looknig at the list! :D

there were some surprises, but not too much tragedies!

afterwards, me mindy jess and mel went to chik-fil-a !!!
GREEEN RECIEPT! :D
we got freeee icecreammmm(: THANK YOU JORDAN! and LILIAN! :D

then we left and i went to chilkfila with momma and sista and ate again. hahah

SATURDAY-5AM KIDNAPPING. so early for a saturday monring, but it was worth it!
even though i already knew, i still love it. we all met up at mickey d's and team bonding time(:

there's one new girl this year, same like last. same, but different...i dont want to judge but we'll see what happens.

finished bio sg last night at 2AM! one more to go. suppose to meet up with avery today to "study" haha.

one more weeek till spring break= STUDYSTUDYSTUDY!!!!!!!!!

my grades are slipping. not gooooooooooood. i really need to step it up! :/

proms in a month, and me nad mel are in needs of prom dates :(
this always happens! ugh

and well, im tired and frustrated. and gave up. but in a strange helpless and sad way, im still entangled.

cheer breakfast tmrw...i wonder what our themes gonna be!!!!!!!!!

and seriously the whole thing about the advisor wanting to change cheer into songleading is BS. thats so dumb. we alreayd got a good dance team, why font you just to be their advisor then?! cheer has been a long tradition and now you come in and just change all of that?! not coool. and theres no way we are gonna be competing in songleading. noo wayyyy joseeeeee.

well, since the most nerveracking tryouts are over, now i have to focus on AP!!!!!
thats pretty intense. but i have the motviation because there are people who are doubting me and i need to prove them worng. no joke.

also, cheer captians is coming up. honestly, i really want it because i want my team to be THE BEST next year. but if anyone else gets it, i wont be too sad i guess... idk depends on who...

cant beleive tryouts are over. we spend so much time and effort in preparing and practising and the mere two or three minutes out there jsut determined our fate for next year...wow. it still hasnt really hit me yet though.

3 MORE DAYS

3 MORE DAYS UNTILL TRYOUTS!

mock tryouts tmrw. it's so scary going up there, dead silent...and perform.
even scarier in front of the judges on friday...smiling but you know they are criticizing you on their score sheets, and the many paretns and studetns coming to watch.

whenever i think of tryouts, it gives me butterflies and makes me weak.
i hate this feeling, of wanting something so bad but can never be sure if i can get it or not. i want it so bad, and i do have confidence but whenever i feeel like it's going to be okay, i take it back because i feel like i dont deserve to feel that confidence. how morbid and sad...

this sucks, i cant wait for it to be over. but then again, last tryouts of highschool cheer...i think we'll all look back to this time and laugh and reminisce at the times when we were alll freaking out...

but at the time now, it doesnt feel good at all. this feeling is indescribable. its harder for us cos we been through the worst, maybe not the worst, but pretty bad things. and it jsut made our views much less positive. i dont even know if this is making sense, but it makes sense to me.


i dont know if i like it or not. like sometimes i admit that i do like it and accept that fact, but other time i realize i shouldnt like it and convince myself that i really dont like it, and its jsut a phase of postafter effect. however, i've come to the conclusion that i do like it, kina maybe...and its bad. i cant, because i know it wont work and its not working and it sucks. but again, when i like it, i like it alot and its hard to stop. and i jsut cant stop thinknig about it. which is a sign of me liking it.
hahahahah fuckme, not again... :/





(:
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/makeover/101-small-pleasures-you-can-enjoy-every-day-1125425/

so we are in the middle of march, fuck everythings going so fast.
i hear seniors getting accepted to all these colleges and im so jealous.
but im happy for them and i'll misss them allot
i cant imagine being the oldest next year...i dont like it

well this weekend was sadies. it was reallyreally fun, much better than i had expected.
i had a fun date and that just made everything ten times better!
so after tutor, mindy came over and we started getting ready, then howard came and we dropped mindy offf with cam at school. then howard and i went to cue, took pictures on the $4 machine! :D then he complained and found a crappy machine that wouldnt work so we had to wait foreverever! haha, but at the end, it was all good and laughs. after we went to the dance pretty early. mindy and cam was alreay there, but there was not that much people dancing. we danced...and danced...and after, we took cheer pictures which i prolly looked like shit...haha they just have to take in in the middle of the time when we are dancing and all sweaty...
after sadies, we went to in n out and then went home. we were both super tired and things just werent going the way we planned...

well, overall i had a really fun time and i only wish that i could say the same for both of us...but i know that didnt happen, which sucks :( i feeel almost guilty for being the only one that had a good time...

sunday-hwhwhwhw! dad's gone for few weeks...

monday-first day of cheer tryout clinics. IM SO HAPPY that its mostly just us(: the dance was reallyreally short, and the cheer looks super hard and long, but i like it! hahah fuck, im so sore form clinics, my arms and shoudlers...

i loved superlatestart today and looking forward to tmrws! but i hate how early lunch is and it just feels so weird. im looking forward to clinics tmrw, and stunting and 6th period.

im not looknig forward to friday, fuckn bio test and sg and tutorial due and lit device and essay!??! wtfwtfwtf kill meeeeeeeee.


i really wish that you two are good again because you seriously got one of the bestbest guy out there and you need to hold on tight nad never let go because i think we all realized that other boys are just so immature and jerks...not nearly as half the man as yours.


i've been really superstitious lately because i dont want anything to go wrong for this two weeks....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i realized im so stupid :/ i shoulda started studying earlier.
i hate procrastinating cos it only hurts me and me only.
i hate junior year, its so stressful :(

so mel and mindy came to chill today. watched DCC(; SO MOTIVATIONAL!
ohmy. then some youtubing, and then cheer meeting
SO. MANY. ****** AND RANDOMASS PEOPLE!
im reallyreallyreally anxious to see what next year's squads gonna be like.

i really thought it was super cute when everyone of us brought our mamas today. they can be bestfreinds just like us(: but then, my mom would start talking to other parents...uh oh.

well honestly, im supersupersupersuper scared of tryouts. cant beleive its THIS MONTH! omhyGod the thought of that makes me shiver and tense up.

you just never feel the same until you actually experinced what we've gone through. fuck i dont know what will happen if something goes wrong.
even if i do make it, i think i'll cry with tears of joy.

i cant believe its last tryout for all of us. it seems like its jsut yesterday that we decided to tryout for cheer for the first time. i still reemebre jsut sitting there watching all these girls older than me having such as good time and wonder how am i ever going to fit in?
wow, time has come and go so fast...



one, youre like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you
three, boy its plain to see
that youre the only one for me
and four, repeat steps one through three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever i believe my work is done
then i'll start back at one
(:

GOOD SUNDAY(:

TODAY SO FAR WAS FREAKN AWESOME!(:

so yesterday woke at at fuckn 5am to go to fbla thing alllll the way in like westranch highschool near 6flags. took two 100question tests and it was horrible. i wanted to go back home and sleep. in the morning went to pick up mindy, then drove for foreverrrr to the place, waited for walnuts bus cos we didnt go on the bus. then went in, watched people talk. there was a helllla lot of students, barely any cute boys. haha i would look for them(: then testing. the schoolw as soososososoo big! they had two gyms. afer, it started rianing, and it was super cold. everyone else went to 6flags but mindy and i didnt cos we are super scared of rollercoasters so her dad picked us up, hes so funny! went to spaghetti factory, then back to her house, watched a bunch of movies. i loved watched the dallas cowboy cheerleaders!!! SO FUCKN INTENSE! im so jealous :( every one of them were BLOND, SKINNY AND PRETTY
:( and i was surprised that it was all like dance stufff, nothing really cheery. after went home at like 10 ish, took a shower, worked on jv presents for the banquet. then slept like a baby(:

woke up today at 11ish by mels phone call, go ready in a hurry, went to pick her up, then went to royal vista golf course for the banquet. the place was really prettty and everyone was all dressed up (: the food was good! but i got full reallyreally fast, after just one plate. we handed put presents, and i got so much freee cute stuff!(: love it. hhaah it was sad when all the seniors were up there, i got teary eyed. and also when D$ talked about me parveen adn jess :*(
overalll, the banquet was reallyreally good.

then after howard came and we went shopping for sadies stuff. first target but they ran out ;( so then mall, and they didnt have any. then the smart and intelligent me suggested khols and we found them! and it fits! ;D im excited to cut it up, haha.
hanging out with howard was surprisngly fun. besdies his jerkness, we've got along pretty well i think.

i think/hope sadies will be bundles of fun! im excited !

im hella tired, and have tons of hw :( yay how exciting.

and tryouts are coming closer.

butterflies

asking someone to sadies is alot of work.
i feel the pain for boys now.
im nervous and anxious. never asked anyone before :/
but at the same time, im excited. for mindy and i(: