eve of new year eve.

cant believe one more day till 2009 is over. wowowowowow this year has gone by prettty quickly. i can still remeber the first days of 2009...
my parents tell me all the time to use my time wisely because time goes by really quickly, but i never really took that into consideration because i always thought a year is pretty long...but looking back, its gonna be 2010 already. ohmygoodnesss ;(
i tried to stick to 2009 new years resolutions but idk if i sticked to any of them for the whole year. prolly not ;/

regardless, here's my 2010 new year resolutions:
1. have goo time management skills
2. have self control
3. have confidence in myself.

i have alot more, but these 3 are the most importnat, rest is like common sense...

i think 2010 is gonna be a hard year, the begining is the rest of junior year, the hardest and most important, and then second part of the year is gonna be SATs and college apps. fuckfuckfuck.

i hope and pray that everything goes smoothly...


speaking of time management, i really need to start on bio. damn 8 chapters?! thats harsh/cruel/inhumane/ridonkulus/insane!!!!!!! ;( FOLFOLFOLFOL.

and im super scared for finals, PRAY FOR ME!!!!! trust, i neeed it.

welll lately, i finished let's go watch meteor garden, the main guy isfreaaakn hot(:
but the whole thing overalll was too dragggggy, wtf and the ending was such a big disspointment.
i get it, they want to make a cliffhanger for the sequel, but that waas tooo much!
i hate tragic memory losesss.. ;(

and autumn's concerto is freakn wonderful. i love it even tho its freakn ongoing...i hate waiting!
this movie's so touching, i cried like a baby.
maybe its just me, im too emotional, but whenever someone cries, i start tearing up.
if this doesnt end happily, i will kill someone. my eyes runing out of tears!!!!
&the litttle boy's adorable!! and vaness looks so much better than in meteor garden!!(:

i wish break was longer. i loveeee this break. dont want to go backkk to work! ;(

this new year, idk if anythings gonna be different, who knows, life's full of surprises. i guess i'll just go with the flow.

i cant believe im gonna graduate sooon. one more year to go. wow. knowing how short one year really is, scares me. i dont want to graduate, but i want to get out of here.
i really want to be independent, start my own life, meet new people and have new experiences. i wonder how we'lll all turn out. cant wait for the 10 year reunion!

on top of everything, im sick. :/ i rarely get sick, but my sister got me. damn
i hate being sick. i feeel so lazy and cant sleep cos my nose is so stufffy! ughhhh

okiedokes, bio time :(

&happy birthday dad(:

merrry christmas(:

I LOVE MY DAILY YAHOO HOROSCOPES! :D

Overview 12/25/09:
Don't let too many emotions muddle your holiday enjoyment -- just go with the flow. You've been spending so much time and energy on figuring out everyone else's problems that you may have neglected your own. You are about to realize you also have your needs and your pride. This may be the time to swing your ax or to let the chips fall where they may. Relationships come and go, but the real thing will stick around

driving lesson went okay today. 2 more hours to goooo!
i get all tensed up when my hands are on the wheeel, it bugs me how nervous i get.

got everything i wanted today(:$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
hehe shoppping time.
im dyingdyingdying for those booots! ugh!

it doesnt even feeel like christmas, my family dont really celebrate it cept for the presents and stufff. but its cooool, i like it better this way.

i lovelovelove it when i get new fresh texts in the morning.
today when i woke up i got like 30 merrry christmas texts! :D feeels good. ahaha

procrastinating again...
i neeed to start on bio hw ;( damn.

lakers vs. cavaliers.

christmas eve.

its freakn freeezinggg...

almost done withe english hw. i should really start on bio. fuckme.

just finished fated to love you today. SUPERCUTE(:
makes me jealous. theres no one out there thats acutally gonna be as perfect.
ethan's pretty cute, cept the small eyes. aha

THANKS ABRRRILLL<3 for giving me advice (; hehe now im not gonna be lonely with nothing to do.
i feel so behind...

im kinda hooked on dramas now, again. but im practising self control cos scool comes first...
but i swear, after ap testing. DRAMA-MARATHON!!!!!! ahhhhhhh :D

i want to watch silence and stained glass cos i never got to finish them but they are both hella sad, and my eyes are already small enough so they dont need to lose any more tears...and i hate crying and being sad :(

i hate it when i end a good drama, it makes me sad. ahah just like when i finish a good boook.
speaking of books, i havent read since like last year. damnn

but every time, they all teach me important lessons about life.

i've always believed in "everything happens for a reason"
i guess everything does happen for a reason, even if it does seem clear why, at first. But when i really think about it, about the desicions i made, the people i met, then things i did, they are all pretty connected. i just wish fate was kinder to me sometimes...

anywho,
it does not feel like christmass at all.
i already told my parents not to get me anything cos they never get what i really want. might as well go shopping myself.
plus, i've been pretty bad this year... shit.

i missss going to school, MINUS classes and hw and test. i misss friends and people ;(
im bored at home. but it feels so chilll, nothing to really do or worry about.
i wish break never ends...

"baby you my everything, you all i ever wanted, we can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it. "


so this school year;s half over, and im screwed.
i tried pretty hard, but im not gonna lie, i didnt try as hard as i should've/could've.

the only good class is apush, but its cos nelson's chill and class is easy.
wait till ap test...ohmyyyyy

im waiting for a fresh start. of everything!

sometimes, i wonder "what if...", more than i should.
and i feel retarded after cos it seems so silly and foolish to daydream of things that never could be.

let's go watch meteor shower.

eve of christmas eve.

do dreams mean anything?!
i just had the most strangest dream about the randomest guy of my life. ahah
but it was comfortable, and felt good in a way.

i wish my dreams came true ;(

its weird cos im doing hw at the beginnig of break, but i dont want to procrastinate anymore.

i lovelovelove this break. dont ever want to go back ;(

two hours of drving lesson done. im tired of driving. i think i want a driver for the rest of my life....

im hooked on fated to love you.
every drama always teaches me a life lesson.
what sucks is knowing that it will never happen in real life.

BREAAAK(;

darrren's party was ehhhhh. i was being bitchy cos i didnt take my nap :(
freakn me and jess and jay and max and darren set up right afte rhte min. day and prepared shitloads of foood. hehe MRS. CHOU IS SO ADORABALE(; i want to trade! ahah
then i took a nap with the girls, and then people came.
i learned lots of new stufff at the party, surprsie, surrrpise... ;O

saturday went shopping for mindy's present,
FINALY GOT JEAN TIGHTS! ;D

sunday, CHEER PARTY.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHMYYYYYYYY OOOOCHILD(;
it was intenseeee. made my whole week prolly. AHAHAHHAHA

there was some kisssing, licking, sucking, blowjobing, dry humping, lapdancing, moaning, flashing goodies fun(:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
thank God D$ wasnt there....

this year im so happy with all the gifts i gave out, everyone seemed to like 'em so far(;
love that feeling of giving and seeing that expression on their faces<3

after, me and myindy and dkay went to westco mall and i got the tight black skirt i wanted!(;
now im saving up money to buy those gray boots!

today didnt do mucn, studied apush, tried to study bio,
CLEANED UP MY ROOM.
slept ayyoootttt.

my dad think he's funny. HAHA.

first driving lesson tmrw!
DENTIST TMRW. OMFG
BRACES OFFFOFFFOFFF PWEEEEAAASSSEEEE!

goals for break:
BIOBIOBIOBIOBIOBIOBIOBIOBIO
APUSPAPUSHAPUSH
spanish
ENGLISH HW.
watch dramas(;
LOSEE WEIGHT!
GET THOSE BOOTS
drivedrivedrive.

i hate

i hate the cold ;(
i hate thursdays.


i hate stupid people.

metero shower.

should i watch?!

i dont feel like sneaking out, partying anymore this year.
maybe it was b/c of the hassle, the worrying, the fails, and the wrong people.
senior year- party allday eeveryday(: hehe

i wonder what next year's gonna be like in cheer.
wtf are we gonna do, whoever's captain is gonna have shitload to worry about. ;/

goal for the summer & next year: get super close with 2011 football boys, like 2010(: luuccckys!

YES LATESTART.
YES BREAK
YES CHRISTMAS

NO BIO ;(
NO SEMESTER GRADES! ;(
NO SAT'S! ;(

so i realized something important along time ago, but now, im putting action to work.
i hope its not too late. ;(

God, help me.

junior year can suck my...

vagina.

i hate this year >:(

why cant i just find a rich guy to marry and be set of the rest of my life.
why cant i just win the effnn jackpot and be set for the rest of my life.
why cant i just be a prodigy and be set for the rest of my life.
why cant i.
becos im just a normal kid, gonig throguh the same shit as everyone else.

we are all on the same boat buddy.

time to wing it for apush, chapter 13. 30mothereffn pages.

i wish i lived in a storysetting life such as one tree hill, how exciting(:

I want jamie, what a cutieeeeee<333

november

HALLOWEEN
movie night with bestfriend was good and something i needed after weekends of going out.
it was nice jsut chilling with a goodfriend in a cozy house and not doing bad things.
it was good to spend the night eating chips and kettle corn with blankets and bestfriend.
it was funny to watch her scream her head off and dig her nails into my palms as we watch drag me to hell.
AHAHAH(:

so novembers already here, and im LOVN the time change.
but yet my days been so unprouctive, like always.
i tried to study bio. but didnt work out. napped for 4 hours.
felt refreshed.

i really want junior year to be over,
what if i dont get good grades or SAT scores, what if i dont get into a UC college?
i think my parents would disown me.
fuckme. i dont even know what i want to be or do with my life.
theres so much pressure right now.
but yet im sitting here in front of the computer wasting my time.
i miss those days when we were back in elementary or middle school when all we had to worry about was boys and cooties.
and we had weekends off to spend with family and friends and not worrrying about grades and SAT's.
FOL.

i just wish that we can have one night, just one, full of fun. party or kickback, just please a good legit one with legot people and we'll be satisfied.

i hate my hair. i want to chop it off and regrow new ones.

KARMA'S A BITCH. >;(

i need to workout again

i need to study more.

i need to focus.

i need to be nice.

i need to be thankful for what i have.

i need to be cautious.

i need to be confident

i need to be more flexible.

i need to be more carefree.

i need to be more self-controlled.

I NEED TO HAVE MY BRACES OFF.
4 mothereffn years.

hang in there.

ever since forever ago, i have lovedloved going to schoool, mainly for the company of good friends and i didnt even mind our schoolwork and even wished for fummer to be shorter so i can go back to school.
but junior year is so diffeent. it's like a big tornado/huricanne/flood of stress and anxiety and depression and lacks of sleep that just hit me all of a sudden. it hurts.
this years has been so different, so many different things, all hapening, all at once.
all im looking forward to is when's the next latestart, min. day, break, or holiday.
i dont know why or even how i started going out so much and doing all those things i shouldnt be doing. even thoguh i know i have to suffer afterwards. i hate being constrained at home.
sometimes im just sitting there, watching them, and thinknig that could've been me, that should have been me.
why did it have to happen to us? it sucks. so bad.
i dont know how they dealt with it for so long. its killing me and i hate it.
i hate how they are all privilleged and everything but yet we are all the same, if not better.
first dance of the year had quite alot of dramas.
homecoming was chill. but i was surprised at those who got in trouble. so not worth it...
my gpa has been the lowest its ever been all my life. and i think i know why. yet i dont do much to change it. why?
why am i always wasting my time on the computer, going out, lying on my bed thinking about useless stuff when i should be focusing on studing?
i hate the pressure of junior year, i hate how this one year can determine your future. if it werent for my parents, i think i wouldnt even mind gonig to mt. sac.
i hate my stereotypical parents. i know they love and care,but they have no idea what kinds of things we go through.
of course, they been through our age, but peer pressure and everything else is so much more intense nowadays, they have no idea.
i'm especially thankful for my close friends this year, they have put up with my ugliness and bitchyness and everything. and viceversa, they know i would always take care of them whenever. it's these people that really keeps me going at times.
i dont even want to start talking about bio-ap, its killler. i really want to drop, and at times i was determined to drop, but then again, i really can not just drop it because of one weekend of fun. i know fersure i can do better. but these temptations...
i lovelovelove mr. kim. his class is hard but he makes it enjoyable yet educational.
sometimes i feel so stupid for going out just for the heck of it when sometimes its a failure and nothing happens but i guess just the rebellious idea of going out and going somewhere.
i think i have realzed that for some certain people, i have developed some attachments, because im just always thinking about you even though i was clear about us before.
i love making new friends, but hate losing old friends.
even though i know we are drifting apart, im not doing anything to stop it even though its sad and depressing and i know should.
but i guess its better for now?
i hate how its because
we dont have any classes together because youre in IB;(
and because you dropped bio ;(
and because you have a bf/gf
and because we dont hang out with same people.
and because of different schools
and because we just dont talk anymore.
on the other hand,
i love your kickbacks late at night to early mornings because they are always so chill with cool people.
i love talking to you because youre a beast and so entertaining.
i love hanging out with you because its relaxes me and just takes me away from this craziness.
i love having classes with you because we understand each other's cruel sufferings.
i love listening to you because you remind me so much of myself.
i relaized that there are so many pretty people out there.
even if the first glance you dont realize it, once you study their faces and features, they are so unique and goregeous, makes me jealous.
i think it's because we have looked in the morror at ourselves more than any other that we dont realize how pretty we are, because i rarely do.
i have talk about this with mel and jess countless times, when and where is our prince charming coming? why is there no potentials in walnut for us? why is it that we always attraact the wrong boys and why does it never work out?
dont get me wrong, i think there's cute boys, but they are either taken or just unreachable because i dont have the guts to go up to you and introduce myself and start talking.
im sorry, but i need someone who can make the first moves and goes for it.
why is it that i always feel lost, restless and like something is missing from me.
i seriously can not wait for senior year. please come faster.
but yet at the end, i know im gonna misss these times.
even though i hate it now.
im really normally a bubbly person and i would rarely be sad or depressed, and even if i do, i hide them with some laughs and talks so even if im havng the worse day at school, you would never know.but then i would go home, and think and rethink about it myself and i think i prefer that. im just not that type of person who would speak out their innner feelings because i feeel like i would be burdening everyone else with my shit and everyone's already got enough on their plate.


i just needed to get all this out.
hang in there guys!(:

circle-marques houston
where you belong-bobby valentino
yesterday-leona lewis
fatal-J. holiday

weekend.

this weekend was a good stress reliever, exactly what i needed.
and now back to school, another week of bullshit and stress! ;(
at least theres a minimum day friday.
lets do something!

so football season has started and we finally beat DB !;D
our football team is pretty bomb this year. but after the seniors leave....

i hate afterschool cheer practises, shitman i need to go home and study, not paint some bullshit signs that no one even appreciates and gets ripped through in like .2 seconds.

so big news, D$ is leaving us next year after her 14 years of being cheer advisor @ whs.
idk if its a good thing or bad, but i have a feeling we're screwed for next year.
esp, our senior year, a new advisor, who wont know shit, like camp and signs and money and everrrrything.
gotta admit, d$ does alot for us, even though she can be evil selfish bitch.

next weekendm i should not go out for BIO ap test in on monday.
fuckfuckfuck bio, its the hardest class of my fuckn life. holymoly.

i know i said no parties or anything in junior year, but everyone needs leisure time. and i support entertainment because it will not ruin our society.
bahahaha ap english right there!

i met lotslotslots of new people recently and it was bomb.
all i can say is, never judge a book by its cover...

first week of school.

JUNIOR YEAR=HELLLLLL. :(
fuckkkkk. my hardest class this year would be BIO AP.
fuckmeeee.
next friday we have first test 6 FUCKN CHAPTERS COMBINED.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!
AHHHHHHH D:

so one wekk of school down, a bajilllion more to go.

damn there goes my social life. but yeah, im determined this year!
who knows for how long i can keep up.

mrs.lin is a funny little asian lady!
&im buying dr. pepper for nelson(: ahaha
i got an A on chapter 1 test! yayme. i studied my butt off!
i dont know how the fuck im gonna survive spanish4 this year...me and mark have no idea what's going on in that class!
and i like mr.kim. his face expressions are freakn hilarious!
cheeeer is same as usual. kinda.
some people need emergency help. asap.

footall season+ap classes+SAT class+tutor=kill me now.

PASSED MY PERMIT FIRDAY ;D
6 more months till license. damnn.
sorry mel :(

i should be studing bio and doing my lit devices but its so diffulcult!
its freakn hothothothothot!& i need shortsshortshorts.

i have no more time for anything else anymore.
its pretty sad but what can i do!
schools only gonna get harder. fuck.

&i want my third piercing! ;(

merca chase.

so havent posted in a while cos i have been tired and busy. and lazy.
yesyesterday(friday?)went to parveeens bday and it was chillll, segregated and felt awkward,
then me mel jess nad mindy went to pdaniles house where everyone was just chilling outside.
diamond plaza nad cue after(;
that one guy was so werid asking us to take pictures with them. ahaha wow.
came home with mel adn mindy and jess and we just talked untill they got picked up.
awkward day.

yesterday went shoppping with momma for cheercamp stufff to costco and then forever!(;
i love forever, thats where i'll be cashing out my first paycheck! ahaha
and i think i'll be gettting 24membership soon. hopefully!(;
and melboo finally got unlimited texting!
omg makes my life so much easier!
then we ate at olivegarden. waited forever but the food was good.

today i woke up at noon and texted the

so today woke up at like noonish
and texted the radonmest people of my life. ahaha omg....howwerid.
then i had to hurrry and make stephs bday card for her bday dinner!
jess came over and we jsut waited outside nad talked. and shared good laughs(;
then chris came, with eric and kristie and we went to steph's in chino to chill.
they swam, but we couldnt cos of our periods ;(
but i was like pretty much wet anyways.
the trrampoline was fun. ahaha childhhood memories!!!

jess had to go home by like 6ish, so we dropped her off nad me nad mel had to go to cpk in the shops in chino for stephs bday
it was me mel sam allion steph and her sister.
they are so alike! omg ahahah
the pizzas were good(; and we wanted to go to forever but it closed!
me nad allison had to go peee urgently so we went into chipotle and pee-ed.
then we drove back to stephs house, toook pics on her mac and watched mean girls
same nad steph knew like every line! ahahahah goood times.
so yeah came home around1030 and ate dumplings.
im so full. omg!
tiring day. but it was goood.

its so normal its weird.

I CANT BELIEVE CHEERCAMP IS NEXT THURSDAY!
OMGOMG SO EXCITED! ;D
but not excited for the 7am-9am practise this tuesday! ;(
fuck. i just want our stunts to go up PLEASE!


;((((((((((((((((((((((!!!!!!

WASTED.

okay so lets recap!
friday-cheer morning practise, 7am-11am
not as bad as the first one, but still wayyy tooo early!
i like our dance tho, its dirrrty(;
we went to suzanne park, ate, and practise some more
then me mel and jesss went to jesss house nad showered and got ready and max and chris picked us up and we went to chopchop grill for lunch.
then we went to alex's house and chilled, watched jumper! james franco<333
and knocked up, and part of pineapple express.
they went to watch harrypotter which i couldnt go, so i went home and watched tv. dont reemeber OH YEAH im a dumbass, i left my phone in chris's car! ;( so i was phonelesss for the night! ;(
but i had self control!
then around midnight ish, me and mel decided to go to that party with viet and ham afteralll. and i had an interesting talk with ham. AHAHAH(;

saturday-slept till like 2/3ish.
I WENT SWIMING! mostly layed on the floatie and tanned.
I GOT DARKER!(; YESYESYES!!!
then my mom lectures me about how i will get skincancer...
after i called mel with sisters phone, and me my mom nd sister went shoppping for like 2 hours,
and mel was trying to reach me, but failed. ahah
got home around 830ish, then i ate quickly and told my mom im going to sleep.
sneaked out around 9 when viet came to pick me up. it was viet, ham, mel, and kelly in the car.

and mel gave me back my phone! ;D

we drove to el monte to pick up nhi, so it was two in the front and illegaly 4 in the back! SUPER SQUISHED.

then we went to the party in pasadena, duarte?
it was COCKFESTx9327549875 ahahah
there was like what, 5 girls. ahhaah so yeah, and guys were playing streetfighter and had a streeetfighter tournament...wtf! ahaha

we stayed till for like 2 hours, the highlight of that would be STUNTING with the guys! ;D ahaha hilarious!
but it felt weird, backing that guy. not used to it...bahahaha

so we left. "curfew"
and i heard the diamondbar party was already shitdown, so we went to the walnut party, and right when we got there, we saw cop cars, so it has just been shut down.
and i saw steven and alejandra walking out, and we just talked about what happened there and if there was any other parties going around.
but by that time it was already midnight so all the parties were prolly done.
there was a party in baldwain park but thats far and bunch of cholos.

so then we just drove around, and chillled in ffront of some house
and bonded!(; AHAHA
then we went to yes plaza, and just sat and talked and let our lives passs us.

around 3ish, we were all tired and hungry,s o we went to carls jr. and ham bought me a spicychickensandwich!
then viet took me home, and after i knocked out on the bed.
ahahah

today i woke up around 12ish. pretty early!
and ate, and swam some more! got sunburned again,
but its okay got darker(;
i finally finished my firnedship bracelets!
SUCESSS(; its beauuuutiful(;

after i was tired and napped. and then at the same time,
textinng ham. hes hilarious ahahha(;

dinner, did my chores,
and i got like 5 friend request today on myspace.
wow. some are so random and creeepy! omg.
i need to stop accpeting people i dont know.

so here i am, on the computer , chatting away my life.

YES ONLY 4 MORE DAYS OF SUMMERSCHOOL LEFT! ;DDDDDD


so yeah, fuuuuuuuuuck we need to make it up. ASAP!

i've beeen so sleepy and tired these days.
and im so sore from stunting yesterday! src was chill, we watched a gruesome video and i had the magic touch and fixed gomez's phone. i hope he favors me now. AHAHAH. jkay
and i finished yangyang's picture in photoshop, looks pretty good!
only one more week of summer school left! its bitttersweeet cos i rather go to summerschool with friends than stay home and do nothing, but then i hate waking up in the early morning!
and i feel like summers like almost freakn over, but i havent even done anything worthwhile.
how sad and depressing.

and so turns out i cant go to harrypotter tmrw cos its at night, and my fuckn pusssyasss sister cant be home alone.
but its okay i already watched it, i wanted to hang out with friends. ahaha
and omg i was taking a nap today and she woke me up and screamed there was a spider in her room and made me kill it. i was so mad and then we got into a fight cos i wouldnt get upa dn kill her spider for her. OMFG GO DIE...

and idkay whats happending saturday either cos my car plan didnt work out. ahaha

butanywho, after cheer practise, mels dad took me and fee and mel to this ramen place in rowland heights and it was goood!(;
and then yogurtland, where me and fee halped mel argue against her dad to her her unlimited texting! ahahaha
hes so funnny.
and i knew i saw one of the guys there that i know! but i wasnt sure, untill he adds me now on myspace. BAAHAHAHAH


so yeah, cheerpractise, jess's house tmrw, then lollicup and stuff.

i dont want to wait for you!

harrypotter!

so me and xiaodi went to the midnight opening of harrypottter and half blood prince and it was amazing.
just being around harrypotter fans who shares the same fanatic support for harrypotter is just freakn awesome! ;D
we both were supersupersupersuperSUPERDUPER excited and i left the house at 9 because i heard there were alot of people already in line, and so we got there at 930ish, got our tickets and waited in this long line. there were so many people!
so we just waited and talked and waited some more. there were people wearing capes and hp shirts and self drawn light bolts. ahaha and i looked like crap!
so when we finally got in, we got our seats, and me and xiaodi went out to buy coffee for her parents. there was only that one coffee store open and there was this one cute guy working!(;
so when we got back, there was so many commericals, llike it was crazy. and our movie got delayed and everything cos i guess there was a malfunction and we saw all this workers up there trying to work it out. and there was this one annoyingass girl in the audience who wouldnt stfu.
so the movie starrted after like 20minutes of painful commericials and crap.
the movie was gooood. it cute off alot of the parts tho, like the funeral and that whole fighting scene in hogwarts! i thought that was such a shame cos it was so exciting!
there was barely any action, but omg it was fuckn HILARIOUS.
aahahahahah so funnny. omg. and there was so much teenage love affairs going on, its cuute. ahaha
so the movie ended at like 3am, i got home at 330. and immediatly went to sleeep, and woke up 3 hours later for summerschool. ;(
oh and during the whole ride home xiaodis parents were talking about harrypotter and everything and it surprised me cos they seen all the movies, read all the books nad knew like freakn everything and everyone! ahaha how cuuute!
src was boring as usual. photoshop was boring too. we just chillled outside like yesterday and did like nothing. so i took pictures of yangyang for my project and just went back inside to work on it. but i didnt accomplish much, mostly talked to mark(ming) about his crazcrazy ap classes.
who the fuck does that? taking like a bajillion aps in senior year.
ahaha crazymothereffer asians! but he was very inspirational. with poor work ethic tho. AHAH
after i had like 5 hours of cheer. 130-530.
from like 4-530 we painted signs for cheer, and omg ours was fuckn BOMBOMBOMBOMB.
shit we worked so hard on it! at the end, everyone was like fuckthis, and feeee was taking out her frustration on paper, tearing it apart. ahaha
but in the end, ours was the best! ;D
so after, got home, ate and slept.
i need more sleep.
but i am totally going to the midnight of harrypotter the last one! two parts! im excited!

and harkins in friday!(;

FUCK MORNING CHEER PRACTISE ON FRIDAY. AGAIN. FML. ;(

and one more weeek of summerschool left!
it has actually gone by pretttty fast. i dont want summer to end! ;(
i didnt even start on the bajillion essays i have to write for english 3ap! or the book! fuck.
i reallyreally dont want to go to junior year, its gonna be hell.
and the c/o '10 will be leaving! ;( fuuudge.

and i hate how my sister, whose 11yearsold, will get unlimited texting, when i had to fuckn fight for my unlimited texting with my dad for the longest of time and we gotten into so many fights about it, and how when i was her fuckn age, i didnt even have a cell phone, and now shes gets unlimited just cos.
damn! im not gonna let that happen!

and my hand has a cut on it, which hurts so bad,
and krystalynn scratched me on the neck with her nails when i was fronting the stunt today, and it stings.
i feel like cheercamp is comnig so soon and we are not even ready.
and i ffeeeeel really bad cos i know jazzlyn really wants to fly, and i feeel like our stunt group was the one whose more in need of stunting cos they are all new, but then now we cant even practise. so how are we supposed to like stunt at camp?
and okay one tumbler is great and all, but still, shes getting all this attention and whenever we go through the cheer stunts, i cant even look at jazzlynn. damnnn ;(
but what is done, is done. and gurvy knows what shes doing and shes a freakn awesome coach!

so this weeks almost over, and i love the fact that my dads totally gone!
i hope this summmer, something funfunfun happens!

tired!

yesterday was tiring. i didnt take a nap!
but i bought most of cheercamp stuff and
finally got my booootyshorts!(:
im so excited for cheercamp, 4 days 3 nights.
so far i got mac n cheeese, cup of noodles, green tea, chef boyardi, gum, makeup, makeup remover, sunblock, deodorant, hairspray.
what else am i misssing? LOTS OF STUFF.
i need to go shopping again! ;(

so today is HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!!!!
omfg so hot. thank god NO CHEEEEEEER PRACTISE! ;D YESYESYESYES
i waited for forever to chris to pick me up after schoool, but i had good convo with matt and michael and sean and anna so its alll goood. ahaha
then we went to the village and aloha and then super. and then no one wanted to go pick them up so that took forevereverever. i ended up going along.
we all met up at taco bell. me jess eric max chris alex, daniel, johnny, cesar, and jaytrin.
my stomach hurt! then we all went to erics house and i was super tired, no nap and i have to be home by like 7 for my seeeestar. chris took me home and he colorblind cos he cant see teal. AHAHAHAH! :D
home. nap. goodbyedaddy.and now im awake. and its hot, and i need to make a friendship bracelet. 2 actually(;
and im prettty sure of myslef now. prettyprettyprettty sure.
but thats a bad decision. but i cant help it.
just to wait to see how things go.

since dads officallly gone. i feeeeeeeeeeeeel freeeeeeeeeee(;
HARRRRRYPOTTTTTTTER! :DDDDDDDD


and im sick of texting. text too much my fingers hurt.
i like calling better. late nights calls(;
but now my dad tells me to text more so i dont waste my minutes.
omgomgomg. ahaha well idagf, hes gone now! ;D

white lies.

i lovelovelovelove my daily virgo horoscopes because they are like crazily right most of the time.

7/11/09 "The most dangerous lies aren't those that grease the wheels of social interaction -- they're the ones you tell yourself. So stop pretending that you're happy with a situation when you're clearly not. "

yeah i need to stop lieing to myself and others.
but as i said, im scared to get hurt.

anywho, so today i woke up at like 12ish. did pretty much nothing.
i was supposed to go cheercamp shoppping but then i took like a 4 hour nap so my dad went shopping without me! ;(

then i cleaned my room, a little. and i ate. alot.
fuck i need to workout more on my invisible abbs. they are really shy ;(

YESS NO CHEER ON MONDAY!
FUCKYES.
and dads gone on monday! ;D
PARTYTIME.

but morning practise again next friday. omg lord save me.

i wonder how feees doing...(;

nothing to say much about today.
im still tired from friday which just totally ruined my energy balance cycle.
ahaha damn.

reminder to myslef i need to tell kasem that i printed out the extracredit but the freeeeakn website doesnt exist anymore. omfg i want to kill someone! ahhahahahahahhahaahahha.

only 2 more weeks of summerschool left.
times going by fast. what am i doing with my life...

not a morning person.

yesterday was the most tiredest day in a long time.
i was practically dead during the 7am cheer practise. that was hell.
I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i think everyone in cheer found that out yesterday because i was just not me. ahaha SO UGLY ;(
but like mel said, if you cant accept me at my worst, you dont deserve to see me at my best! and i think all the cheerpeople earned to see me at my best, cos i was the ugliest chick alive. ahahaha
woke up at 6:30, went to vons to buy sam's bday present. lotslotslots of choclate.
then picked up feee and went to practise.
after practise, napped for 30 mins, went to ortho.
tightened braces. hurts like a mother.
ate, napped for 3 hours.
then i needed to get ready for JV cheer party and i was gonna be late but i needed to at least attmept to make up for my uglieness that morning, so i showered, and even put on makeup!
the JV party was os much funner than i had ever expected.
everyone except nestle was really funny and good to talk to.
vanessa's freakn hilarious, ahaha
and omg madi almost made me choke with her preganant stomach. AHAHAHAH i had soda in my mouth when she showed us and omg. it was crazyyyyyyy.
the food was good, i was bloated! we talked about such humorous interesting topics. ahaha
man, the newbies this year are so so so so bad.
if we all get in trouble or like get late starts taken away, i blame c/o2013.
Then couple people went on the slip n slide and that was hilarioussssssss ;D
after we played the white elephnat gifts, and i left my ariel beach ball at parvines house. its okay i dont really want it. hahah
after we waited for our rides and we danced to music, parvine and gurvy's nassssty. ahahhahahahah. oh and me and jess saw the westhoff 5h grade pciture and that made my day. omg SO FUNNNY!
max came and took me and jesss to super, where the rest of the guys were.
we just chillled there kinda and went to creekside park after.
swings was fun. but my butt hurted after a while.
so after like everyone left, it was me, chris, daniel and yang yang.
then steven and christian came at like 11. ahaha wtf.
all this time, they were playing yangyang's in my world game
and he and chris got it and was taunting me the whole entire ride home.
omg that was horrrible ;(
i wrote all them on my phone, but i still couldnt get it!
and so after i got home. there was the whole mel dilema.
her mom called me a bajillion times where she was, but i didnt pick up.
jess picked up and it was just crazzzy, i thought mel was like done for.
and i heard about how like alot of people have to move school either to rowland, or like nogales and stufff.
and mel's one of them, and so is like chris and max and eric. well idagf about the latter, but yeah alot of other people. thats so sad! ;(
i hope its doesnt happen, cos i really cant imagine living without these people in walnut! ;(((((

yeah i was super tired, and didnt want to gent up. but i did anyways. idk why...it was chill though.
so i finally figured out the in my world game at like 5am. thanks chris for the obvious hints.
that was a great accomplishment.
bahahhaha
and i felt really bad cos we all kinda bailed out on the beach with viet, even tho its his 8th bday, and he kicked out other people in his car just for us. ;(

in my world, there;s moon walk, but no michael jackson.
in my world, there's billy may, but no oxiclean.

HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRYPOTTTTTTTTTTTTER!<333333333333

constructive criticism.

so today's the end of the 4th week for summer school.
2 more weeks to go! ;D then cheer camp :DDDDD
so in src, we watched this movie about Gay rights and stuff, and it was pretty good!
so that took up the whole period! next 2 weeks are DMV stufff so i just want to drive already. omg.
then in photoshop me and john finallyfinally took his me myself& i pictures, and the photshooot went niceee! today we didnt play boxhead cos we were all so very concentrated, except jeffery. ahaha. and i totally forgot to flatten my extra credit even though kasem told me to. Godammit!
so i tried printing it out at home, cos i got photshop on my computer but somehow its not working ;(

cheer today was an eyeopener. bigtime.
testing was boring, same as always. this time morgan was with us, and i lovelovelove it with shes testing with me cos shes so loud and it pushes me to do better.
and i love what anna writes, shes so swweeeeeet!(;
most of the time, we all just sat outside on steph's blanket and chillled, it was freakn hothothot!
my ass was freakn burning like theres no tmrw.
there was no jump challenges today, thankGod cos i was hella tired!

so for the rest of the 30 mins, we stunted and practised cheer.
my stunt group did their first doubletake AND I WAS SO PROUD! ;D
it was really slow and not as steady, but it's a good start!(;

then... we practised the cheers.
fuck im scared we are gonna look like shit at camp, cos thats pretty much how we look like now.
so as captain, me jess and parvine took turns watching the rest of them do the cheers and
i did not know how mych they needed help.
at first when gurvy told me i was shocked, but now i know thats cos me jess and parvine are in the front so we cant see hows the rest of them doing, and we thought it was good cos only we were doing good.

we didnt want to call them out, cos there was a only selected few that kept messing up and looked like they dont know shit, but it was hard for me, cos i really didnt want to embarrass them in front of everyone and now i feel gurvy's pain.

but we have concluded strongly that starting tmrw we are gonna start calling out people, and even though i dont want to seem like a mean bitch, i want us to look good, as a team.
and we;re not trying to embarrass them or anything, jus tto help them out so they dont futhermore embarrass themselves.
i reember last year when sarah was here, we didnt have any of these problems and we were so good.
but thats cos sarah was so intimidating and we were scared of her so we did whatever we were told.
this year everyones been too nice.

so after cheer, i waited with mel for the longest time of my life but we talked about deep things.
AHAHAH jkay, just boys! like always. ahahaha(;
so all in all, we need to fight for it if we really want it.
but i dont even know if i want it, or if its worth the risk.
no it's not worth the risk, i already concuded that.
and its so all of sudden too so what am i supposed to do. im doing nothing.
i thought there was something?or i hoped.
but good thing i kept my hopes low. cos it will hurt more after.
and games are fun. but not if youre the one being played.
it's only causal games right now, nothing serious.
just for the heck of it. but only if you were older....!!!

and my babygirlll expperienced her first broken heart. sortakinda. but hey, even rocks can be broken sometimes. so dont act tough cos your bff's can see through it! and we're always here for you!

after me and mel went to joghurt, and pigged out!
came home, napped for 3 hours like always.
meantime, my dad and sister ate dinner without me, so i just ate some salad. wasnt that hungry anyways and still trying to be on that diet. ahahah

and i know we cant have favorites or anything, but seriously shes the cutestestestest out of all of them!(;
and from their bunch, thats saying alot.

so i cant believe we have cheer practise 7AM-930AM tmrw, who does that? i need my sleeep!
and then i have ortho after, and then the cheer bonding party...

i hope all goes well.
i really cant wait for dad to be gone,
then i can actually have a summer life and go out and chill with friends.

idkay if we can go to the beach on saturday.
i kinda dont wana cos it would be weird only us 3nutters with all westco kidds, but then
i really need to meeet some new fishes out there in the sea. if you get my drift. ahaha
or maybe like i said, we need to re-look our old fishes, and re-examine them.
maybe we overlooked some parts.
mel i love you!(;

everything happens for a reason.

so it's been foreverever since i posted.
im not so good at keeeping track and writing everyday, thats why i gave up on journals and diaries, i got my brain to remeber things. ahaha
but every now and then, i feel like sharing and letting it all out!

so 2 more weeks of summer school! YAY!
im taking src, digital pohtoshop, then cheer. 7:30-4:30. FML.
src is required, photoshop for computer credits, an cheer is a must.
but the thing is, i really wish that some friends were in src and phtoshop woth me,
the classes are super chilll but its boring without anyone to talk to and i get so lonely ;(
but in src i met these new seniors and they are nerds, but i fit right in. ahaha
JONATHAN IS SO CUTE&INNOCENT! ahahaha
and in photshop i met new sophies and they make fun of me 24/7 !
and thats where i got introduced to kitty cannon and boxhead! ahaha
kasem think hes strong, but i know his weak spot!(;
i thought this class would be hella easy, but boy was i wrong
we have so mant projects do, and my partners john, and wtf am i gonna do!
but all in all, i like going to summerschool, it's qute fun now, with new friends, ahaha.
i rather do that then stay at home.
got nothing else to do. BUT I HATE WAKING UP IN THE FUCKN MORNING. fuuudgecakes!

cheercheercheer.
what can i say. everrything happens for a reason, right?
i love cheer, but now i feel the returners pain,
OMFGMFGOMFG ITS SO BORING LEARNING THE CHEERS!
mels next to me and i do the randomest things. ahaha
but thank God we already know them all
i remeber last year everyone was like freeeeeaking out about testing!

the newbies this year are...new. ahaha
althought alot of them have been in cowboys cheer, i think we all need to impove in many areas so lets not get cocky here.
idkay, everything feels the same, except with differnt people but im thankful to have jess and parvine with me cos i wouldnt have done it without them
so we've learned the camp cheer by gurvy, and i like it!
its harsh that some cant do the dance, but hey, learn from your mistakes.
in stunting, everyones doing really welll, my stunt group is the weakest but thats only cos everyones new. so be patient and get the basics down first.
WTF FRIDAY PRACTISE 7-930AM. out of your mind! i need to sleep!
&& im exxcited for the bonding party this friday. hope we get closer!

in other news, mj's memorial was so sad! i got chillls.

and as i said many times, nothing ever works out for me. its quite sad, but im being patient, and just waiting for whatever to come.
but come quickly cos junior years coming and im dteremined to be a nerd all the way.
but you should know, if we dont have chemistry, then we're not gonna work out!
right now, i like to play around and have fun!(;
im telling you guys and reminding myslef, my instincts are right! better as friends.
so at the same time protecting myself, im doing both of us a favor.
friends, it is.


and btw i hate making the first moves&one word replies.
remeber that for future reference(;

SO EXCITED FOR HARRRY POTTTTTTTER<3333333333
i want to watch i love you bbeth cooper too!

DADS GONNA BE GONE NEXT WEEK FOR A MONTH.
SO IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
:DDDDDDDDDDD