"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there"

— Bob Marley

i really like this geniune quote...

amusement of the day

The Teenager 10 Commandments

1. Thou shall not sneak out while parents are sleeping
(why wait ?)

2. Thou shall not do drugs
(alcohol lasts longer)

3. Thou shall not steal form K-Mart
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not get arrested for vandalism
(destruction has a bigger effect)

5. Thou shall not steal from thy parents
(everyone knows Grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get in fights
(just start them)

7. Thou shall not skip class
(just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not strip in class
(hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex
(as Nike says....'just do it')

10. Thou shall not help old ladies cross the street
(just leave them in the middle)


i just thought this was super funny! hahaha

spring break

cant believe its already tuesday of spring break.

my plan was to do nothing but study...but it already failed yesterday :/
i seriously need to step it up and quit lagging cos its only gonna hurt myself.
fuck i know that like i understand that concept veryveryvery welll but i just cant seem to stick to my plan and put it in action. easier said than done describes this situation perfectly.

so yesterday, studied three hours of bio. i swear my head is gettting bigger and bibggger by the moment. then went to mcdonalds with jeremy and jared to get some sweet tea which then turned out into 7 hour adventure consisting of hockey at chino, taco bell, and just chilln. even tho we didnt have anything to do, it was refreshing and i def. needed some new air. but 7 hours, wowzers. hhaha

well, me and mel have talked about this countless times, but we are always in this situation right before a dance, in need of dates :( prom dates :((
i really want to go this year because i have a hunch that next years not gonna be so goood. and idk i just want to go! but if nothing works out, i rather stay home and use that weekend to study which i really neeed to do.
boys are so freakn stupid sometimes....!!!!!!!!!!!

I REALLY WANT TO WATCH : LAST SONG, REMEBER ME, DEAR JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this morning went with felicia to school to help paint prom posters...the colors are so pretty! and the themes so cute! (:
i cant believe proms so freakn expensive!!! ahhhhhhhh

i like people who acutally make an effort to reconnect with old friends, shows that they still care(:

i have so much things on my mind right now. as well as lastnight, which i couldnt sleep at all. i hate what this is doing to me! im getting so distracted...for...nothing probably. :/

and captians stuff. omfg shootme, i dont even know anymore...not good.

TRYOUTS

VARSITY BABYYY :D
im so happy for ALL of us. all 2011, all returners (minus newbie) !!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY
to be honest, i wasnt as nervous as i thought i would be when we were in the room getting ready. i was more nervous throughout the day, almost about to cry during 5th period! :O
but when we were waiting to get in, BEING FIRST...i was really surprsingly chill! and trying to calm down jess. its hard because you can always be so sure of yourself, but you need to trust your partner not to mess up, and im glad i trusted jess because she didnt let me down(:

I LOVED BEING FIRST. we got it over with an it was so chill afterwards! :D

there was alotta people, adn the crowd was really supportive! i freakn love the apush kids who supported me because they pumped me up! the judges didnt look so nice this year, they werent smiling at all! but overall, i felt it was really goood. and they scared the beeejjeeegas outta us about the whole callback thing. i was down to get called back! but thankGod no one did!
after we all watched jv tryouts and we waited for not a long time for the results. they made us run all over campus! haha
i was jubilant when bridgette shouted out "1,2,3,4" when she was looknig at the list! :D

there were some surprises, but not too much tragedies!

afterwards, me mindy jess and mel went to chik-fil-a !!!
GREEEN RECIEPT! :D
we got freeee icecreammmm(: THANK YOU JORDAN! and LILIAN! :D

then we left and i went to chilkfila with momma and sista and ate again. hahah

SATURDAY-5AM KIDNAPPING. so early for a saturday monring, but it was worth it!
even though i already knew, i still love it. we all met up at mickey d's and team bonding time(:

there's one new girl this year, same like last. same, but different...i dont want to judge but we'll see what happens.

finished bio sg last night at 2AM! one more to go. suppose to meet up with avery today to "study" haha.

one more weeek till spring break= STUDYSTUDYSTUDY!!!!!!!!!

my grades are slipping. not gooooooooooood. i really need to step it up! :/

proms in a month, and me nad mel are in needs of prom dates :(
this always happens! ugh

and well, im tired and frustrated. and gave up. but in a strange helpless and sad way, im still entangled.

cheer breakfast tmrw...i wonder what our themes gonna be!!!!!!!!!

and seriously the whole thing about the advisor wanting to change cheer into songleading is BS. thats so dumb. we alreayd got a good dance team, why font you just to be their advisor then?! cheer has been a long tradition and now you come in and just change all of that?! not coool. and theres no way we are gonna be competing in songleading. noo wayyyy joseeeeee.

well, since the most nerveracking tryouts are over, now i have to focus on AP!!!!!
thats pretty intense. but i have the motviation because there are people who are doubting me and i need to prove them worng. no joke.

also, cheer captians is coming up. honestly, i really want it because i want my team to be THE BEST next year. but if anyone else gets it, i wont be too sad i guess... idk depends on who...

cant beleive tryouts are over. we spend so much time and effort in preparing and practising and the mere two or three minutes out there jsut determined our fate for next year...wow. it still hasnt really hit me yet though.

3 MORE DAYS

3 MORE DAYS UNTILL TRYOUTS!

mock tryouts tmrw. it's so scary going up there, dead silent...and perform.
even scarier in front of the judges on friday...smiling but you know they are criticizing you on their score sheets, and the many paretns and studetns coming to watch.

whenever i think of tryouts, it gives me butterflies and makes me weak.
i hate this feeling, of wanting something so bad but can never be sure if i can get it or not. i want it so bad, and i do have confidence but whenever i feeel like it's going to be okay, i take it back because i feel like i dont deserve to feel that confidence. how morbid and sad...

this sucks, i cant wait for it to be over. but then again, last tryouts of highschool cheer...i think we'll all look back to this time and laugh and reminisce at the times when we were alll freaking out...

but at the time now, it doesnt feel good at all. this feeling is indescribable. its harder for us cos we been through the worst, maybe not the worst, but pretty bad things. and it jsut made our views much less positive. i dont even know if this is making sense, but it makes sense to me.


i dont know if i like it or not. like sometimes i admit that i do like it and accept that fact, but other time i realize i shouldnt like it and convince myself that i really dont like it, and its jsut a phase of postafter effect. however, i've come to the conclusion that i do like it, kina maybe...and its bad. i cant, because i know it wont work and its not working and it sucks. but again, when i like it, i like it alot and its hard to stop. and i jsut cant stop thinknig about it. which is a sign of me liking it.
hahahahah fuckme, not again... :/





(:
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/makeover/101-small-pleasures-you-can-enjoy-every-day-1125425/

so we are in the middle of march, fuck everythings going so fast.
i hear seniors getting accepted to all these colleges and im so jealous.
but im happy for them and i'll misss them allot
i cant imagine being the oldest next year...i dont like it

well this weekend was sadies. it was reallyreally fun, much better than i had expected.
i had a fun date and that just made everything ten times better!
so after tutor, mindy came over and we started getting ready, then howard came and we dropped mindy offf with cam at school. then howard and i went to cue, took pictures on the $4 machine! :D then he complained and found a crappy machine that wouldnt work so we had to wait foreverever! haha, but at the end, it was all good and laughs. after we went to the dance pretty early. mindy and cam was alreay there, but there was not that much people dancing. we danced...and danced...and after, we took cheer pictures which i prolly looked like shit...haha they just have to take in in the middle of the time when we are dancing and all sweaty...
after sadies, we went to in n out and then went home. we were both super tired and things just werent going the way we planned...

well, overall i had a really fun time and i only wish that i could say the same for both of us...but i know that didnt happen, which sucks :( i feeel almost guilty for being the only one that had a good time...

sunday-hwhwhwhw! dad's gone for few weeks...

monday-first day of cheer tryout clinics. IM SO HAPPY that its mostly just us(: the dance was reallyreally short, and the cheer looks super hard and long, but i like it! hahah fuck, im so sore form clinics, my arms and shoudlers...

i loved superlatestart today and looking forward to tmrws! but i hate how early lunch is and it just feels so weird. im looking forward to clinics tmrw, and stunting and 6th period.

im not looknig forward to friday, fuckn bio test and sg and tutorial due and lit device and essay!??! wtfwtfwtf kill meeeeeeeee.


i really wish that you two are good again because you seriously got one of the bestbest guy out there and you need to hold on tight nad never let go because i think we all realized that other boys are just so immature and jerks...not nearly as half the man as yours.


i've been really superstitious lately because i dont want anything to go wrong for this two weeks....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i realized im so stupid :/ i shoulda started studying earlier.
i hate procrastinating cos it only hurts me and me only.
i hate junior year, its so stressful :(

so mel and mindy came to chill today. watched DCC(; SO MOTIVATIONAL!
ohmy. then some youtubing, and then cheer meeting
SO. MANY. ****** AND RANDOMASS PEOPLE!
im reallyreallyreally anxious to see what next year's squads gonna be like.

i really thought it was super cute when everyone of us brought our mamas today. they can be bestfreinds just like us(: but then, my mom would start talking to other parents...uh oh.

well honestly, im supersupersupersuper scared of tryouts. cant beleive its THIS MONTH! omhyGod the thought of that makes me shiver and tense up.

you just never feel the same until you actually experinced what we've gone through. fuck i dont know what will happen if something goes wrong.
even if i do make it, i think i'll cry with tears of joy.

i cant believe its last tryout for all of us. it seems like its jsut yesterday that we decided to tryout for cheer for the first time. i still reemebre jsut sitting there watching all these girls older than me having such as good time and wonder how am i ever going to fit in?
wow, time has come and go so fast...



one, youre like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you
three, boy its plain to see
that youre the only one for me
and four, repeat steps one through three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever i believe my work is done
then i'll start back at one
(:

GOOD SUNDAY(:

TODAY SO FAR WAS FREAKN AWESOME!(:

so yesterday woke at at fuckn 5am to go to fbla thing alllll the way in like westranch highschool near 6flags. took two 100question tests and it was horrible. i wanted to go back home and sleep. in the morning went to pick up mindy, then drove for foreverrrr to the place, waited for walnuts bus cos we didnt go on the bus. then went in, watched people talk. there was a helllla lot of students, barely any cute boys. haha i would look for them(: then testing. the schoolw as soososososoo big! they had two gyms. afer, it started rianing, and it was super cold. everyone else went to 6flags but mindy and i didnt cos we are super scared of rollercoasters so her dad picked us up, hes so funny! went to spaghetti factory, then back to her house, watched a bunch of movies. i loved watched the dallas cowboy cheerleaders!!! SO FUCKN INTENSE! im so jealous :( every one of them were BLOND, SKINNY AND PRETTY
:( and i was surprised that it was all like dance stufff, nothing really cheery. after went home at like 10 ish, took a shower, worked on jv presents for the banquet. then slept like a baby(:

woke up today at 11ish by mels phone call, go ready in a hurry, went to pick her up, then went to royal vista golf course for the banquet. the place was really prettty and everyone was all dressed up (: the food was good! but i got full reallyreally fast, after just one plate. we handed put presents, and i got so much freee cute stuff!(: love it. hhaah it was sad when all the seniors were up there, i got teary eyed. and also when D$ talked about me parveen adn jess :*(
overalll, the banquet was reallyreally good.

then after howard came and we went shopping for sadies stuff. first target but they ran out ;( so then mall, and they didnt have any. then the smart and intelligent me suggested khols and we found them! and it fits! ;D im excited to cut it up, haha.
hanging out with howard was surprisngly fun. besdies his jerkness, we've got along pretty well i think.

i think/hope sadies will be bundles of fun! im excited !

im hella tired, and have tons of hw :( yay how exciting.

and tryouts are coming closer.

butterflies

asking someone to sadies is alot of work.
i feel the pain for boys now.
im nervous and anxious. never asked anyone before :/
but at the same time, im excited. for mindy and i(:

this is the first weekend in a long time where i barely have any hw, feeels hella good(:

i got reallyreally sick on staurday cos of the game friday. it was ridiculous. first hte coldcoldcold weather, then these fuckn chino hills crowd were nothing but white trash. rude and prejudice and ignorant. these bitches can go suck it.

we didnt win, so bballs officially over...kinda sad but cant wait till next year.

so at the game, i spotted a super hot guy, and guess who it was...haha it WOULD be his brother. daYUMMM(:

AUTUMN'S CONCERTO TOTALLY MADE MY DAY TODAY-THE FACT THAT THERES GONNA BE ANOTHER EP! :D OMGOODNESS.
its honestly the best show i've seen in a longlonglong time. its so real and vaness is fuckn hot. like the way he always raise his eyebrows, his body,the way he talks, mmmmmmmm.
maybe im just a drama-addict, but this show teaches so many life lessons. i know its so overrated but todays ep taught me that you cant always jsut sit and wait for that person, if you want love and happiness, you have to go and fight for it, fight for the person you love and fight for your own happiness.

i wish i had that courage and charisma to jsut go up to that person and talk to him. but idk, its never the right time. i guess its just highschool...


i've also realized how deep a mother's love is. i literally cried like half the episode :(



i hate it when i catch myself being so hypocritical. i hate it when i text someone and they never text me back. yet i did the same thing today. on purpose. i hate it when i call someone and they dont answer or call back. yet i did the same thing last night. even if it was at 1am. they would call me every weekend...haha


so i realized, i havent been going out alot lately. thanks jeremy for making me realize how boring i am. but i guess its my choice and honestly, im really just so lazy, i enjoy staying at home, doing nothing but watch movies, eat, and sleep.and i love it when im home alone,its so chill and i like being by myself cos i dont have to impress or look good for anyone or be on guard. i can do whatever i want.

even my moms said i've gained weight...time to workout!!!!!!!


march is coming soon, fuck that means tryouts, and AP. and not long till graduation and byebye seniors :(
im really going to miss all the seniors, i cant imagine being the top dog next year, being the oldest...:/

i reallyreally want next year to be the best. but thats what everyone says and wants. since D$ gonne be gone after 13 years, i really dont know what to expect, its either going to be really good, or really bad. i honestly dont care much if i get captain but i jusst hope that whoever gets it, will be stern with leader like qualities. it going to be hard because we are all bestfriends on the team, but during cheer i think we would need to put personal relationships aside and work together because we are all interdepent on each other.
banquet in two weeks, means tryouts are sooonsooonsooon. fuck CROSSS MY FINGERS AND KNOCK ON WOOD.

there's alot of things i want to do and alot of people i cant to get to know but it seems theres never enough time and fate doesnt allow it.
but then again, im being hypocritical because i think people should go and fight for what they want beucase its only comes around once and if you dont hold on tight, it may never come back.

i guess this is what happens when im locked in my house all weekend long, i tend to think alot and over analyze things.

i really dont want any distractions now, esp now because my mind cant afford it,but then my heart wants something different.

one in a million

your love is one in a million,
it goes on and on and on y
ou give me a really good feeling,
all day long...

your smile, your style is so fly, i cant deny
i got a crush on you and that is true indeed
and im diggn you,
youre making me believe that

your love is one in a millionn...

so this weekend was supersuper chill.
i loved it. 3day weekend!
i love costco and everything it sales!
watched leapyear SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE :D,
the british accent with manly beard TURNS ME ON!! mmmmmm...

then some creep just keeps calling me at nights at like 1am during their manly sleepovers and it turns out to be howard and jeremy and jared. THANKS GUYS!!!!


i didnt accomplish as much as i wanted to during the weekend. but it was chill, gained back lotsa sleeep. i thought i got pink eye but i didnt.

got reallyreally sick tho :(

im diggn this summer weather!

block went by pretty fast today, fastest its ever been actually.

me and avery (&sara?) SET THE CURVE FOR BIO TEST! :D never got the highest before in bio! :O except that one quiz. haha YAYAYAY!

then in apush, we faced reality when he talked to us about how close may is and HOW FUCKN SCREWED WE ALL ARE... ;/
seriously, i want him to actually give us points for the workssheeets and IDS so i would acutally do them and learn something! so fucked...
and i can not beleive this is the 6th weeek. damnnn :(

so um..it kinda pathetic but my hopes were kinda crushed. ahah but its okay i guesss, im jsut waiting for some other time thats right for me. help me out God!

so went to el pollo locos, bought some stuff that i had no idea what it was with avery and jacquie, went to daniel's house. worked on mortality rates, screwed around, laughed alot, got high (jacquie...HAHA)
and here i am... this is a busy week for me, yet im on the computer, why why why.


some people needs to open their eyes...and stop.



bio&apush time.

valentines day/chinese new year

happpy chinese new year!
happy valentines day!
happy single awareness day!

woke up really late today. last night watched the annual chinese new year show with the family. its really one of the things i look forward to on chinese new years, besides the $$ and food(:
went to costco, bought snacks and pizza! :D
my day wasnt so exciting but its chill and i like it this way.
although i still have bio and hw always in the back of my head, like heavy weights on my shoulder :(

i hate whenever my paretns talk to me about my future and SAT and grades and collgeges. they are so annoying nad just dont get it. omfg, i thought about my plans and i know what i need to do so just back offf! geeeez. they swear like im going to end up mowing lawns for the rest of my life...fuckers.
and i hate it when they compare me with other people. just stfu.

ironically, their annoyingass lectures gives me more motivation to go to a good and far college and get the fuck out of the house...

thankGod for 3day weekend. i needed this!!!

damn, february is almost half over. ohhmyyyy times goes fast. i cant believe we are going to be seniors next year, it all seems so far away.

today i think i realized something, i really need to stop wasting time and creating scenarios in my head that will never happen in reality and the more i do, the more i curse myself and the chance of the event actually occuring :/dammit

i hate how im sick and this weird weather and bio hw and how i look like crap and not exercising and pathetic workouts and meaningless days wasted by doing aboslutly nothing and shitloads of homework and stress from classes and pointless days jsut passing by.

my mom is too passive, she promised my sister a iphone for her 12th bday. WTF even i dont have one, why does she get one. wtf mom are you out of your mind. i swear, sometimes i jsut want to....UGH

today is a sad and disspointing day b/cos...autumn's concerto isnt on! :( dammmit!!!!!!!!

so me and mel dont have a valentine today, or ever..ahah how sad :( but i really think the problem is us, not them. we are too picky and have high expectattions blocking out other potentials.
mel, open your heart! ahahahahahhaahahaaa

i wish something good happens sprawns out of all these nonchalant days.

new goal!

so im sick and this fuckn rainy weather's so annoying >:(
thaks God for last week of bball season, im so sick and tired of wasting my time afterschool for shit.
i was kinda ready for taking bio test today since i was "sick" monday morning, but nooo now i have to take it thursday. great and freakn labs due friday. FUCK
i feel like i dont have alotta hw, but i shouldnt really wait till alst minute to do stuff...

i really hate bloc, the classes are so long and unbearable, esp when im sick, i feel like a zombie. i dont even try to look decent anymore, fuck that. ahah

damn, i wish i was a prettty white girl :(

so me and ave talked and we've set a goal for both of us, and deadlines prommmmmyourmom!!! i think my chance are so much far offf than her's but i guess its a challenge and im curious to see what fate has in store for me and how much do i realllyreally want it. and i really do want it.
so i guess this will be a first, first for me to go for it, first for me to make a move, first for me to...we'll seeee i guesss.

im still in a really annoying mood these days, idk why some things and some people just bugs me, gtfo of my face pleasee.

so i think, if anything, the one lesson i learned from wf is to not wear a shortshortshort dresss cos then i'll be reluctant to show the pics to my parents and other people will call me unlady-like names and i feel uncomfortable in the dress anyways...but...but it was pretty! AHAHAHAH

i want to base some more with fee and flying sam, it felt gurrrrrrrrrrate! cept now im kinda sore.

so today in kim, pauline's "nerd crush" is so cuteee. ahahahahaahah i think we all need a nerdy crush, so adorable!

sadie's coming up, got no one in mind, but i dont want another replay of last year, so i better get on thaaaaat. hmmm...

okay i should stop proccrastinating. math test tmrw great 2hrs of gaynesss of kevin and shawn. ahahhahaha

winterformal '10

winterformal seemed so far away, but it was yesterday and now it has passed.
the day was chill cos i cancled all my tutor and was kind of carefreee, althouggh the bio test tmrw was always in the back of my mind :(
overall the night was okaaaaaaaaay, didnt expect much.
i was excited to go to jess house with the girls and get ready, i think that got to be the highlight of my day. too bad jess couldnt go :*(
mel and mindy all looked extra prettty(:
after we sepeerated to go take pictures and i saw alotta people at the westco place, which has like pornstar pictures all over....ahaha
after pictures we went to cocnut bay, YUM PAD SEE EW(:
then cue was really fun! the pictures turned out good! better than my actual pcitures i think. ahaha
after we went our seperate ways. me and max went to ale's to pick her steven and cammi up. dropped by at chris's. saw a damn black cat :O
it was reallly colllld outside when we were waiting in line to get into minx. the dance floor was so cramped and tiny compared to the mass of the people.
the food was bombbbb! SWEEET POTATO FIRES! ;D reminded me of boiling crab again. ahaha
we took cheer pictures, caricature drawings, the lady sucked :(
i thought the dance ended at 11:30, but it ended at 11 and the line to get out was super long. this crazyass chick just cutted everyone and i was so annoyed.

i admit, last night i was being a total bitch. i was in the most annoying bitchiest mood everrrrr. partially was cos i was really tired, idk why. sorry to those who had to go through it. but just a number of things, stupid people and occureneces really annoyed me. i wanted to nap in thee car but couldnt, and felt kinda left out and lonely cos i didnt have anyone close with me to talk to.
and yesterday was just a unlucky day for a couple people, but shit happens, and i believe its all karma, teaching people a lesson. yeah it sucks to happen on winterformal and affecting the people you care about, but how else are you going to learn? i know i sound so bitchy cos it didnt happen to me, but from a outsider's point of view, thats how i feel. to be honest, i can't really be the one to judge because we've all done those kind of stuff, but really, on a important day to risk so much and to be so late and unprepared i say the punishment fits the crime.
&i def. learned my lesson tooo.

i think im gonna be sick tmrw morning, first period only...hah hah.
i've been donig really bad in apush, and i jknow why :(

oh recap of nogales game friday-INTENSEEEE! WE WON OVERTIME!!!
since me jess and par werent in uniform we could shout mean stufff and at first we didnt, but those annoyingasss ghetooo nogales cheerleaders pisssed me off so bad. they are so fuckn rude...but its okay, we yelled back whenever they tried for a freethrow and at the end we finally won. so SUCK IT nogales!
and im in love with taco bells' 89ccent burritos! ahhhhh heavenly....(:

i cant beleives tmrw's already school and last weeek of bball games. bye seniors....


SO MUCH MOTHEREFFN HOMEWORK. WHAT AM I DOING ONLINE??!!!
autumn's conerto! so addicting. ugh...another sleepless night. :(

random.

www.formspring.me/irisjiang

THANKS SHANNON FOR #1breakfast #2making me a formspring! :D

so i got a formspring cos it seems everyone has one and i jsut want to see whats the biggie.
hah, i reember long back ago, when i was on XANGA, then everyone swtiched to myspace and i was reluctant in creating one because i knew that there would be other sites that will be more popular, and what do you know, no one barely uses myspace now, its all about facebook. hahaha so i was right, just took a little longer to carry out.

i think im gonna run everyday now. it felt pretty good today. but its so lame how tired i get after like 15 mins. wtf wow, how pathetic. :(

so this new drama im watching, hi, my sweetheart is the cutest thing ever. ohmyyy, he's adorable(:
horse, go away. ahaha

dad's gone for couple weeks. yay?!?

so winterformal's coming up, idk if im excitedexcitedexcited. it all happened so fast.
its really not that big of a deal and i really like my dress(: hehe, i cant help if its a little slutty, i really like it!

i think people should know that i rarely get mad or express my negative feelings, but when i do, im serious and i get pretty out of control. so lets not go there...ahah
but i dont want people to think that im just a carefree cheerleader that laughs at everything and never take anything seriously.
no thats def. not me.

i still havent wathced avatar. i cant believe its like passing records of titanic, wtf titanic is like a all time classsic. i dont beleive avatar's that good.

i really want to watch VALENTINES DAY & DEAR JOHN<33333333

i have shitloads of hw tonight, yayme....

busy weekend

GOT MY WF DRESS TODAY! :D
love it! hehe, its short, black with purrrple, my favorite!(;

so saturday i went to downtown again! with my dad adn it was gooooooooood. cos hes my $$$$bank :D haha FINALLY GOT THE COAT i wanted! yay! and new dress, and purse/clutch.
SO CHEAP. totally going again. now my fav. shopping place!

then went to mall adn saw the dress i wanted but didnt have time to get it.
then went to tutor...
4wated with mel,, steph, and johs, then mel steph and mindy on the whole paartybus situation.
we all tried calling companies, but everythings either booked for feb. 6, ot hellahella expensive!
i thought 2 weeks in advance was early! but guesss i was wrong. so wrong.

today, the whole morning ive been calling companies...good experience, imrpoved my speaking skills. on the phone. ahaha

it was a complicated afternoon, when steph reserved a bus, people started flaking...how annoying.

but now i guesss we are just gonna drive there and mel and steph and mindy got another buss. looks really nice! good for them.

but i think i did a good deed today, made a good decision, out of everything. hope it counts on my record and ec points! hehehahahohoho(;

AUTUMN'S CONCERTO'S ON RIGHT NOW! :D SOSOSOSOSOOO GOOOOD. LOVEEEEEEEEEE HIMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

AND HAM, YOURE SO FUNNY. AHAHA

second semester

I FUCKN HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THE RAIN! >;(
its so cold, and wet, and cold and dark, and makes my day all moody ;(
such a hassle with the umbrellas and puddles.
its good weather to cuddle at home with friends, hot chocolate and movies, but nooooo, we have school... :(

i wish we had 4day weekends every week :(
frst week of second smester was knda stressful, i wasnt used to like hw everyday, fuuudgeeeee.

now im bacl to my normal scheldulde, napping everyday after school for couple hours. maybe i dont need it cos after i dont really feeled refreshed, but maybe its a mental thing.

same old, same old in bio & math.
apush has just gotten even more boring. omfgggggg!

we switched seats in spanish :( but im next to chris now!(: hehe, thanks nativo!!! :D and sorry for my OCD! hah

pualine siwthced to kim's class! yay, now i have someone next to me! and that girl....omfg killl her.

cheer's been okay, yay for our lib!! and i feel like i should reconnect with cheersister :(

mel got asked today!(; aww the flowers were so pretty!

i. cant. believe. i. lost. my. $. today. :((((( its karma and bad luck...damn

overall, im excited for wf, dress shopping ! :DDD yay, im in craving of new dress and new shoes!!! hehe
i really hope it will be fun, all of us in a party bus together, time to get down&dirty, bahahah! jkay.
i hope nothing goes wrong! (knock on wood)
right now, we just need alotta couples on our bus and try to get the lowest price possible!
if you dont feel comfortable with a bunch of cheerleaders, dont come, we dont need you!

and i got annoyed today in apush, when they were saying how nogales cheerleaders were better than us.
BITCH PLEASE, they are so ghetto and rude, if you like them better, then i wish you transfer to nogales cos we dont want you.
at least we are classsy and clean,(on the outside) haha

im excited to buy a new dress, i want something fitt, short and cute(:
i have two weeks to get in shape! hah

ohmygoodnesss, hes cute(:


i hate how i lose everyhting. ohmy. so tragic.

P.S. GOD BLESSS THE HAITIANS! D:


NO TORNADO PLEASE!
RAIN RAIN GO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

4 day weekend

so the finals have come and went...
i have many regrets, but i can't really do anything except try harder for second semester.

this 4day weekend has been really, really, reallly good. i dont know how else to put it, but hanging out with my bestfriends, worrryfreee, no homework, is what i needed the most, and what i missed the most.

thursday-boiling crab in alhambra with friends was a wonderful experience :D
then friday I RAN IN THE MORNING TO THE VILLAGE COS I PINKY PROMISED JESS! WHAT A FREAKN WORKOUT.
it felt good after, but i hated it cos there were werid people and mexcians staing and whistling at me.....
then afternoon was the westco game WE WON :D saw hammmy!(:

and movie night after with my loves JIMM was splendid; my sister's keeper is such a sad movie :/
saturday-7am downtown shopping! i was gonna die in the car cos im SO NOT A MORNING PERSON, but omfg it was SO WORTH IT!!!!! we are saving up and going there EARLIER AGAIN!!!!
after shopping, me and mel went to my house and chilled and then went to village to meet up with FBLA.
howard's so organized....BUT THANKS FOR THE ROBEKS! :D
then went to service in diamond bar, motherfuckers.
but i got lucky! hehe

friday and today was chill day, i think i slept back all my lost hours! yayy.

i hate to find out we have a 6chapter bio test on wednesday with study guuide due WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF????!!!!?!!!!???!!?!?!?!

winterformals coming up...i want to go, but theres no potentials! :( this always happens to me. ohmy.

i think im pretty content with my life right now. my hairs growing, thanks to horse shampoo (:
but im hating the rain, the bio, and school tmrw :/

just like how i couldnt find anything that was amazing to me at downtown, i feel like there is sitll something misssing from my life and i still havent found that missing piece yet. i dont know what it is, but i know its out there.

im sorry for disspointing you :(
it seems everyone has a formspring, i want to try it out! but we'll see.

hello second semester...

finals weekend :(

finals are coming closer and closer. i can almost taste my death...ahah

so i have a plan in mind, but its not really in action right now...fuck.
need to start asap.
so starting next week, or reallyreally sooon, im gonna abandon all internet entertainment distractions such as facebook to focus! i really neeed a decent stable grade. i cant even count on the AP test in may because you never know whats gonna happen...

and im pathetically happy right now...hehe he's single(: i think.

i cant wait for 4DAY WEEKEND after finals, shoppingbonding time with Jim(:<3

then me and mel really need to start doing some work...ha ha ha

and after finals, im determined to lose weight! need to start working out again.

thankGod dad called, i was getting worried :/

kay, study timmeeeeeeeeee :(

tuesday night

im tired.

3 hour 3-way convo with Jim(: hehe

time to finish up hw.

and maybe study?

im excited for the "plans" next weekeend, if i even survive to those days...

JAEBEOM & TAEYANG = YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

i'd do anything for/to them(; hehehehe...

break's too short

first day back from break....
so tiring in my classes :(
and tmrw's block. i hate block. fuck block.

i cant believe we have apush test already not that i study much anyways. but still, the mental stress. ahaah.

im just happy people noticed my brace free teeth(:
ahaha jazzyln's so cute.

CREST CLEAR WHITESTRIPS! THEY ARE WORKING! :DDDDD
hello pearl whites, hehe(:

its good seeing everyone again, but i hate the usuall loads of hw and upcoming test& finals >:(

so right afterschool, i was so tired, took like 4 hours of nap. felt so bomb(:
and procrastinated hw untill now. fuuuuudge i should really really reallly get rid of this bad habit.

i love english discussions. i love english when we dont have to write, and only have open discussions. :D
mr. kim's a werid one. ha ha ha
and cheer was fuckn pointless/waste of time.

so i have good news and bad news.
good news: 4 DAY WEEKEND MOTHERFUCKERPIECEOFSHITHELLYEAH :D
bad news: thats only after the 2 grueling days of finals next week... :/

and it kinda irritated me today after reading this one article about how this mexican immigrant has worked hard to earn full scholarship to harvard.
yeah it was touching and motivating how he worked so hard, educated with IB diploma and worked sidejobs to help his family, but still, maybe im shallow and selfish, but it seems still unfair to me because i think that if an asian kid with same situation and circumstances as that kid and applied for harvard, they would not have gotten in with the full ride. maybe. yeah he finished IB and graduated top of his class, but look at his school, its some ghetto school with other mexicnas no offense, but if some of us went to that school with the drive that we have now, we would be top dog too. its jsut sucks having to go to such a good high school such as walnut because we are comparing oursleves with other nerdy asians and our chances are so slim, unlike kids in nogales for example. and our ethnicity. it sucks. its not my fault im asian. it seems that other ethnicities such as mexicans can work with like half of my drive and motviation and hard work and can still get in a better college than me.
i dont care if others think my comment is prejudice or overanalyzing or just complaining about life. but it just seems to me that this is what's really going on these days....


studytime.

2010;last day of break :(

YAY ME; BRACE FREEEEEEEE! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

FINALLY. OMFG. about time, 5 years, shiiiiiit.
now im waiting to get them whitened(:

I CANT BELIEVE SCHOOOLS TMRW. OMFG :(

this is prolly the FIRST time ever i hate going back to school sososososoossoososoooo much.
idk, its like i have this monster inside of me, protesting against the end of break ;(

i really dont want to go back, go back to all the shitloads of insane work, tests and all the stressss from everything. i cant describe it, but its just so stresssful worrrying about grades. they determine our futures, just a couple of numbers and letters....

im really starting to doubt everything, if all these shit im puttting myself through is really worth it.
yeah, everyone's goal is a good college, but is it really worth putting myself through this amount of stress and uncomfort ? what if the world really does end in 2012, then i would have wasted my life....
and also, what's really the point of taking all these AP and advanced classes, are they really going to matter to me in life?! they are all jsut for college references, but what if i dont get into a decent college? (KNOCK ON WOOD) then my years of highschool would be totall wasted. fuck. then what am i going to do?


and idk how im gonna survive the school times, my sleep patterns have been so jacked up. i've beeen sleeping at like 3/4 ish and waking up supersupersuper late. ;/

fuck. and i didnt stduy for finals like i planned ;(((((((((

gooodbye break; hello stresss :(